Gift Fic for nino1711azuki

[aibamods]

Title: Fading Dream
Pairing/Focus: Junba, Sakuraiba
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Violence, Injury, Borderline Dub-Con, Major Character Deaths
Summary: Aiba’s job was to give pleasure to men, yet he had a heart of his own. And soon Aiba learned that true love can be more than just one.

Notes: Dear nino1711azuki, I hope this story would be to your satisfactory in some way. When I first read your sign-up, one of your prompts really struck me. It was supposed to be a balance of Junba and Sakurai; however I got quite biased as the story progressed and the end result was this piece :P  Anyhow, I hope my bias aligned with your personal preference ;)
PS. I sent you a question regarding the ending through mods, so you already know how this is going to end. Please accept my apology if you aren’t in the mood for it during such a festive time of the year m(-^-)m

- Prolong -

“This is not fair, Masaki. I don’t want to be away from you.” Prince Satoshi whispered softly to his lover’s ear. They were curling inside a thin layer of delicate silk with hardly anything else on them.

“Father thinks you are a bad influence for me. That’s why he wants you away.” The prince said in displeased. “He cannot be more wrong. He should have seen how happy you make me feel.”

Aiba moved closer, holding the prince tightly in his arms. He was smiling slightly. There was no hint of discomfort in his voice when he replied.

“Do not think so badly of your Highness, my prince. His Highness only tries to keep his words to Lord Matsumoto.” The courtesan started kissing his lover. He gently pushed the prince down on his back and climbed on top of the young prince.

“That stupid promise! Why did Father agree to have you stay at the Matsumoto castle? And for one whole year! That’s twelve months that I won’t see you. How am I going to survive?” Satoshi complained.

You would, Satoshi. You probably forget all about me in a few weeks. Aiba thought but he didn’t voice it out. He knew there was a grain of truth in what the prince said earlier. He was a bad influence for the crown prince Satoshi.  Aiba never meant for it. He didn’t want Satoshi to shower him with love and attention more than he did to anyone else. Satoshi was unnaturally attracted to him - so much that it had worried the Emperor. The crown prince had been slacking in his daily training and preferred to spend time in the Inner Chamber – with Aiba Masaki, one of the palace top courtesans. That’s why when Lord Matsumoto asked the Emperor for Aiba as a reward for his successful task under imperial order, the Emperor hardly spent time to contemplate on the appropriateness of the request. The Emperor wanted Aiba away from his heir – at least for some time. He immediately granted Lord Matsumoto his wish. Within hours, Aiba was informed of the imperial order. He only got a few days to prepare himself for a long journey to Matsumoto castle where he would reside for one whole year.

“You are leaving as soon as the Sakura trees begin to bloom. That’s only a few days from now.” The prince said dishearten. Satoshi had also just learned of his father’s decision. He was angry and displeased with it, but not enough to make him act on anything, and Aiba didn’t ask him to.

The prince let out a heavy sigh. He didn’t want to think of the time his lover would depart the capital. What was he going to do when Masaki was gone?

A kiss on his lips stopped the prince from thinking further. On top of him, Masaki was smiling the same gentle smile that comforted him so much all these times. The courtesan bent down to breathe into Satoshi’s neck. Then he started kissing the prince from his shoulder blade down his chest, his stomach until he reached the lower part of his abdomen.

“Oh, god, Masaki…”  The prince could hardly breathe. Within seconds, his whole body was aroused completely. Glancing down his stomach, Satoshi saw Aiba eyeing back at him seductively. Aiba’s bright eyes glittered expectantly under candlelight.

“If we are to part, why don’t we try to get the most out of the time we still have left, my prince?” Aiba said sweetly. “I want to feel you inside me, so that I would remember every bit of you when we are far away.”

The prince didn’t waste any more time.

-.-

It was the middle of spring when the Sakura had bloomed. New leaves began to spring from the dried, lifeless branches of trees lining the paved road leading to the west. A small procession consisted of a wooden cart and several armed men on horseback marked the landscape. It drew attention from the local and passerby as such lavishly decorated cart and finely dressed men were not so accustomed to people in the region. After all, the land was a long distance away from the capital and lives here were plain and simple.

A small figure dressed in light yellow steered his horse close to the large cart. The window panel slid open just slightly, allowing the person inside to convene with the approaching man. Soft and gentle voice rang from the figure within.

“Nino, it is mid-day already. Do you want to rest a bit?”

“Are you tired? Do you want us to stop?” The man on the horse replied with questions.

“How can I be tired? I have done nothing but sitting in here for the last few days.”

“We are almost there, Masaki. Maybe we only need to stay in a roadside inn for just one more night. We should be there by noon tomorrow.” Nino sounded hopeful. It had been a very long journey and even though his friend and employer did not say it aloud, he knew Aiba was tired. It was probably Aiba’s first journey outside the palace since he was sent there so many years ago. Aiba wasn’t used to the hardship of long travel – the rough ride, the poor weather, the uncomfortable sleep, and the subsistent food. They even had to camp out in an open a few times and Aiba had to sleep in the cart. Nino knew it wasn’t the kind of life Aiba was up for.

“We should make a stop just a bit. There would be a nice enough roadside stop just a bit from here. Let’s rest there and have some lunch.” Another man dressed in coral shade steered his horse closer and joined in the conversation. Underneath his kimono, a glimpse of lacquer plates was shown through. Sakurai Sho was the head samurai guarding the procession. He was to make sure the trip went smoothly and the cart arrived safely at the destination. But he also wanted to make the trip less difficult for the main passenger. Just a small break, it would not hurt their schedule.

Sakurai Sho was not a stranger to Aiba and Nino. He was one of the guard captains at the palace and he often appeared in many banquets the emperor held over the years Aiba was in service at the palace. They never really talked because Sakurai was reserved. Yet, Aiba noticed him and the way he looked.

“You are too kind, master Sakurai.” Aiba commented, his voice was full of gratitude. It took the samurai aback. The nicety and sincerity of every word Aiba had spoken had shaken Sho more than a few times the past few days. Aiba was one of the famous courtesans of the inner chamber. Only the lords were permitted by the emperor to communicate with him. Aiba was everyone favorite and he was untouchable. It was until Sho had interacted with Aiba personally and spent the last week or so with the man that he fully understood how true that statement was. He would never admit it aloud but Aiba seemed to have power over all men. His delicate nature and gentle posture pulled everyone around him in like a bait luring fish in the clear stream. And before they knew it, people fell head over heal for the courtesan. The surprising thing was that Aiba did not seem to know it. It was all natural.

Because of Aiba’s natural appeal, he had become a fixation of several lords. One in particular was close to being obsessed with the courtesan. Sho had heard the gossips around the palace that Lord Matsumoto had been petitioning the emperor for the sole right to Aiba over the years. Finally, when his troop had triumphed over the rebel from a north-west domain, the emperor granted him his wish. Sho was tasked by the emperor to accompany the procession of the imperial “gift” to lord Matsumoto in the west.

This was a very important job. There were still report of rebel activities in the area. Sho had to keep vigilant. However, as the time passed, Sho found it became more and more difficult to keep his mind off Aiba. It was in the way Aiba talked, the way he looked, the way he smiled…

Sho knew he was thinking the unthinkable, the impossible, yet he couldn’t stop his heart from doing so.

When they reached the clearing, the group made ready for a short rest. The door of the cart slowly opened, and the sole occupant came out. Nino was next to the cart waiting for Aiba and helped him to the ground. He also made a clearing where Aiba would rest and have lunch. Sho had been observing the dynamic between the courtesan and his attendance for the past week. Surprisingly, Ninomiya seemed to be the only person Sho knew of that could be so close to the courtesan without even a slight sign of him falling over the courtesan. On the contrary, Nino treated Aiba just like any other men in several occasions. They were longtime friends – that was what Sho was told before the procession began. Ninomiya had always been Aiba’s attendance and it was believed that he entered the inner chamber with Aiba when both of them were still little. When Aiba was given to Lord Matsumoto, Ninomiya was to leave the inner chamber with him and would continue to tend to Aiba’s needs in the Matsumoto domain. It was quite a sacrifice, in Sho’s opinion, but Ninomiya didn’t look a tiny bit concerned of the sudden change in fortune.

Sho let his mind wonder as he quietly watched Aiba strode through the green grass clearing. The beautiful, long kimono trailed after the tall, slim body and Sho had to turn away from the sight. He was still distracted when a voice called his name. Sho quickly turned back to the figure requiring his attention and he was surprised to learn it was Aiba.
“Master Sakurai, please accept my humble food that I have prepared for us.” Aiba said while handing him an unwrapped cloth, revealing several Onigiri inside. “I made them in the inn’s kitchen in the morning before we left. I noticed you like dried plum so I made several pieces especially for you. The plum from this area was more flavorful than the one we have in the capital. I hope you would enjoy it.” Aiba offered the food and invited Sho to take them all. Sho was so transfixed to the gentle face that was smiling at him that he reached out to take the food absentmindedly. Their hands touched accidentally and Sho felt an electricity jolting him out of the daydream. He yelped and let out a shy laugh. Aiba was also laughing softly at his reaction.

“Surely, I am not that scary, Master Sakurai. I am not going to poison you.” Aiba chuckled. His laugh was like a beautiful music and Sho thought he would gladly eat poisoned food anyway if it was Aiba who gave him.

Suddenly, Sho was startled at the recognition. Like everyone, he had fallen into the trap unintentionally set by the imperial courtesan. Without intending to do so, Sho had fallen in love.

-.-

That night they stayed at a roadside inn a short distance from the border of the Matsumoto domain. Sho estimated that it would take them less than two full days to reach the Matsumoto castle town, and his job would be over.

That didn’t make Sho feel happy and accomplished. Instead, he felt as if a piece of his heart was torn apart from his chest.

Sho was in his own thought when he heard a movement inside the sleeping chamber where Aiba had been resting and Sho had been on guard. His drowsiness was gone instantly. Was there someone inside? How could they get in while he was sitting here guarding the only entrance? Sho was up instantly. His hand readied on the hilt of his sword when the shoji door slid open revealing Aiba in a thin night gown. The courtesan stepped out of the room into the corridor. The moonlight fell on his ivory skin and reflected with his beautiful face. The glossy eyes stared at Sho mysteriously. Sho gulped. He stood still as Aiba advanced closer. Sho could feel a soft breathing from the slim man on his shoulder skin. Sho didn’t dare to move as those eyes gazed over him and rested on his own.

After a period of stillness, Aiba broke the silence.

"You are out here, guarding me and Nino every night, didn't you?" It was more like a statement than a question. Sho didn't reply. He thought the courtesan already knew the answer.

"You don't need to do this, straining yourself and depriving yourself of sleep, when you can ask any of your men to do this job. Besides, I am not someone important. I don’t deserve this kind of treatment." Aiba added.

Yes, you are, Sho protested, you are important to me. But he couldn’t say it out loud. Instead Sho replied, "You are my responsibility. I have to make sure you arrive at the Matsumoto castle safely."

"But this is too much. In fact, what you have been doing for the whole trip was too much.” Aiba spoke in low voice it was almost like a whisper. He paused for a moment before continued, “I remembered you, coming to the inner chamber with various lords you were supposed to be guarding during their visits. You always sit in a corner silently observing everything. Everyone had come and talked to me, but you never once did." Aiba's hand was now resting on his elbow. He smiled gently. His eyes were soft and beautiful.

"I saw you. I have always looked at you. But I never saw you meet my eyes. Not until we are on this journey together." Aiba moved even closer. Now they were only inches apart. Aiba's face was so close to Sho's. Sho felt, as they kept their eyes on each other, he had stopped breathing.

"You desire me, don't you, master Sakurai? And not just the way everyone wants me. You have a feeling for me. A real feeling. I can see it in your eyes." Aiba asked so naturally. Sho gulped. Before he knew it, he had retreated away from Aiba a few steps. However, his retreat was halted by a strong grip on his wrist.

"Aren't you repulsed by my existence?" Despite the meaning, Aiba’s voice was void of emotions. Yet, his eyes were full of sadness. "Aren't you disgusted at what I am?"

"There is nothing wrong with who you are." Sho blurted it out quickly, it came out naturally and so sincerely Sho felt his face redden with his implied proclamation. Aiba smiled at him softly.

"If you want me," Aiba said quietly, his eyes kept staring into Sho's, "you can have me." Then, upon hearing how his words sounded, Aiba paused in hesitation. He reflected on his own words and corrected himself. "No, that wasn’t right.” Aiba shook his head before he changed his wording, “Master Sakurai, I want you to have me."

Sho looked into Aiba’s eyes and he understood what Aiba meant by those words. The feeling Sho had been harvesting on Aiba was mutual.

-.-

The view of Aiba’s nape from behind was something that Sho had never imagined he would get a chance to see. He had been watching Aiba intently, but his duty prohibited him from thinking about Aiba in any other way. Yet, his heart had a mind of its own. When Aiba offered himself to Sho, the young samurai couldn’t refuse. And now, he was staring down the curvature of Aiba’s beautiful and slender nape.

The candle light flickered and danced on Aiba’s ivory skin. Sho lowered down and planted a kiss on Aiba’s back. His lips lingered on and the kisses turned hungrier and more passionate. At the same time, Sho’s lower body moved in rhythm, thrusting and pushing in. Aiba moaned with pleasure. His body shivered from the sensation. His reaction encouraged Sho to continue to quicken the paces. He pushed in, feeling his length being absorbed into Aiba’s warmth. Aiba received him with eagerness. His body tightened and wrapped around Sho’s length. Sho cried as he experienced the high he had never felt before. He increased the speed further, knowing all too well that he’s almost at his limit. The realization of his length filling Aiba and the feeling of he and Aiba becoming one were too overwhelming for Sho.

A few more pushes and Aiba’s cry echoed the small room. His head swung back violently, unable to control the blissful joy Sho had given him. Aiba’s lower part moved in sync with Sho, allowing his member to go even deeper than before. It was the feeling Aiba never realized he could have before. When Sho filled him to the fullest, Aiba knew he had found what he wanted all his life. Aiba continued to cry out Sho’s name, not caring that the sound they made would continue far through the darkness of the night.

They remained laying, naked, next to each other on the soft futon. Sho’s arms wrapped around Aiba’s fragile body loosely. His face buried in Aiba’s nape, inhaling the sweet scent from Aiba’s skin. A smile plastered on Aiba’s face when he turned in Sho’s embrace.

“Thank you,” Aiba whispered. Sho was surprised by the sincerity of Aiba’s words, even though Sho was so certain it should be him thanking Aiba instead of the other way around.

“What for?” Sho couldn’t help asking.

“For making feel loved.” Aiba answered softly. “No one ever truly loves me before.”

Aiba closed his eyes and let himself being absorbed into Sho’s warm hug. He breathed deeply, trying his best to remember every feeling and every touch he experienced tonight. Aiba knew he would need to hold on to them if he wanted to survive the next year at the Matsumoto castle.

-.-

Aiba's shaky hands gripped on the soft fabric tightly. It hurt, badly. And even though he wanted to scream out in protest, he couldn't. The bones on the back of his hand were clearly visible since he grabbed onto the cloth so tightly. Aiba tried to think of other places as his own body heaped up and down from the strong force plowing into him. Aiba winced in pain but he still managed to produce an arousing moan, as if he was enjoying the act he was participating in. It was for the show, Aiba reminded himself every single time. This was his duty, his task as a courtesan. It was like being in the show and he was the center of it.

Aiba cried out again in pleasure. He was taught and trained in this - the art of giving pleasure to men. That included expressing himself as if he was experiencing the sexual ecstasy in order to arouse those he was with. Aiba learned over the year that for some, having watched him reaching the height of his excitement was the preferred way of gaining sexual pleasure. Lord Matsumoto was such a man. He liked to triumph over the others, and that included when he was in bed. Aiba had learned about this even before he came to the Matsumoto domain and he had tried to make himself ready for it.

In fact, life at the Matsumoto castle was not as horrid as Aiba initially thought. The old lord Matsumoto had been known of his cruelty and his strictness. Yet, his obsession to Aiba had made him lenient toward the imperial courtesan. Aiba was given a quarter all to himself, away from other women and men that the lord kept at the castle. Aiba learned later that the lord did that for his own benefit as well. Lord Matsumoto made frequent visits, often several times a week, to Aiba’s chamber. Aiba was also often called to make appearance at many of the banquets and dinners the lord had. He would have to entertain the lord’s guests in ways that he had learnt from the palace. The people in the west were rougher and less refined than men in the capital. Yet, Aiba found that deep down all men were the same, and they always wanted to same thing. Everyone was pampering Aiba with love and affection, just like how it was at the capital.

Well, almost everyone.

Matsumoto Jun was lord Matsumoto’s son – not from his wife but one of the concubines that lord Matsumoto had. However, he excelled in both politics and war, and had been lord Matsumoto favorite. Jun usually accompanied his father in official affairs and often stayed through dinner. While Aiba entertained other guests, or danced at the center of the room, he always noticed Jun staring at him.

Unlike the others, Jun’s stare was full of loathing. Aiba could tell Jun didn’t like him one bit.

“Why does it matter to you if he likes or dislikes you?” Nino complained in annoyance as Aiba yet again commented to Nino on the way Jun stared at him for the whole night with his lips shut tight and his eyes so burning.

“He’s the lord’s son. Surely, what he thinks matter.” Aiba tried to make his case.

“No, not really, and you know it, Masaki. He’s not the heir of lord Matsumoto and he hardly has anything to do with you. Why cannot you just leave him alone?”

“He doesn’t leave me alone. He kept staring at me at every dinner I attended.” Aiba protested. Nino wasn’t convinced. He shook his head disapprovingly.

“He could stare at you all he likes. Everyone can do that. It never bothers you before.”

Aiba pouted and turned away from Nino. It seemed there was no point in arguing with his best friend. In truth, Aiba questioned himself the same way Nino did. He didn’t understand why Jun would bother him.

“Anyway, did you mention Jun in your correspondence to Sho?” Nino asked when he saw his friend stopped responding further on the subject. Aiba gave Nino a strange look. It’s true Aiba kept sending letters back and forth with Sho, mostly to tell him about the general, insignificant things at the Matsumoto castle. He couldn’t go into details on anything, not even on his feeling toward Sho because Aiba knew his letters would be screened for security. Lord Matsumoto would not want Aiba to send important news or compromising secrets back to the capital.

“No. Why? Should I tell Sho about Jun?” Aiba asked sincerely.

“Of course, not. You are going to make Sho jealous. The last thing you want is to start a war.”

Hearing the reply, Aiba gave Nino a strong look for teasing him. Nino only shrugged it off.

“I am serious. You may not know how much Sho loves you, but I do. I think everybody does.”

Aiba blushed at Nino’s comment. He thought of Sho and the only night they spent together. He wanted to meet Sho again and counted down the day that he would finally return to the capital. But on the other hand, Aiba wanted to be real. He knew he couldn’t have a real future with Sho. He was, after all, still an imperial courtesan, and his life wasn’t his own to decide.

Nino noticed Aiba instant quietness and realized his words might have hit a point in Aiba’s mind. Nino sighed. He didn’t intend to make his friend worried, especially not about the only thing that kept Aiba cheery and upbeat in this gloomy castle. He patted Aiba’s shoulder and Aiba instantly turned to him for a hug. Aiba squeezed Nino so tight Nino could hardly breathe.

“I miss him.” Aiba whispered. Nino tightened the hug before he added, “Don’t worry. He knows.”

-.-

Although he was a courtesan, Aiba was trained in sword play and archery. Not that he would be able to win a samurai in a fight, but it was for the show, mostly. Aiba could dance with a katana gracefully. For a bow, he could do well enough to hold his ground with an archer, but he wouldn't bet his life on it. He was supposed to look graceful but not being effective in the battle.

Aiba had been trained on these arts because he was often expected to accompany the lords on hunting trips. He had done it several times in the capital, but they were mostly short, one-day trips to the wood in the area. So when Lord Matsumoto ordered him to join the hunting company for a three-day trip into the wood in the north, Aiba couldn’t help feeling excited. A horse ride brought a nice change to Aiba’s mostly indoor lifestyle of the past few months. And he enjoyed the cool, brisk air signaling the coming of Fall.

After a half-day ride, the hunting company had set a camp and was ready for the hunt. Aiba was also dressed in a hunting dress along with them. He looked elegant even in his simple hunting suite. He tied the long sleeves up his shoulder, revealing his smooth, muscular arms. When he was on the horse, his posture was elegant and breathtaking. It was a sight to behold. All hunters and guides were staring at him in wonder and amazement. Aiba was too beautiful for a samurai yet he held his bow elegantly.

Jun was only a few feet away to the other side of Lord Matsumoto. The young lord stole a few glances in Aiba's direction. He didn't want to admit it but he couldn't keep his mind away from Aiba's stunning figure. And Aiba noticed that. Somehow, it made him proud and happy.

The afternoon hunt was uneventful. Aiba spent most of them riding alongside the lord and following the main group. Then, there was a call from one of the guides, informing the hunting party of a dear in vicinity. Suddenly, the group broke apart. Several men rode forward hoping to claim the deer. With the party scattered, Aiba decided to ride slowly behind. He had no intention to hunt any poor deer, so he steered his horse to one side and rode it casually. With exception of a few birds and rabbits, there were hardly any significant games they could hunt.

That’s when he saw Jun walking his horse in disinterest, unintentionally heading in the way of a very large and irritated boar. With a loud squeak, the boar latched out and headed directly toward the unexpecting Jun.

Aiba reacted without thinking. He drew an arrow and made the shot.

Jun turned back swiftly to the source of the arrow that flew past him in less than a few inches and hit the boar perfectly. And there he was. A tall, slender figure standing with a bow in the arrow releasing posture. Aiba’s face was clam and composed. His eyes were still fixating on the dead wild boar. Jun almost lost his breath at the scene but as soon as he recovered, he barked out.

“What do you think you are doing?” Jun shouted at Aiba in irritation.

“I think the proper response, my lord, is probably ‘Thank you’.” Aiba could not help biting at the man he just saved.

“It’s only a wild boar. It cannot harm me.” Jun claimed, not wanting to give credit to Aiba.

“I will let you be next time then, my lord.” Aiba quipped. He didn’t know why Jun’s reaction bothered him more than it should, so he turned away hoping to go somewhere else.

“You should stop calling me “my lord”. I am not a lord and will never be.” Jun shouted from behind. Aiba couldn’t help turning his horse toward Jun again.

“And what should I call you, if not ‘my lord’?” Aiba asked.

“I have a name. You should call me ‘Jun’.” Jun said simply. His expression softened for a second.

Jun’s words left Aiba startled. They weren’t equal and going on a first name basis was as unusual as it got. However, Jun looked so determined and serious, so Aiba felt obliged. He nodded and quickly rode away from the scene. Somehow, Aiba felt a strange pang in his chest. He didn’t know what it was, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know it.

-.-

The afternoon hunt was successful. The unfortunate deer (plus the boar) was brought back to the camp to be cooked for dinner. When they arrived, everyone dispersed and took rest. Aiba went to his tent and was greeted cheerfully by Nino, who was left at the camp to tend to everything else. Nino had prepared Aiba’s clothing for the evening and talked endlessly about the nice hot spring close by. He urged Aiba to go and relax himself while Nino took preparation for the evening entertainment. Aiba agreed. A hot bath after a long day of riding sounded nice. So, he changed into a light garment and headed out to the hot spring.

Aiba walked through the quiet wooden structure, heading toward the secluded section of the hot spring. The section was separated out from the main bath and Aiba welcomed the private moment he could have away from other men. As the evening came, it became apparent that Aiba wasn’t used to riding this much and he felt tired. Luckily, the hunt wasn’t too intense. They hardly had to move quickly at all. And the group was too large to be practical for the real hunt, and it was a pure luck they ended up with a deer. Aiba couldn’t help thinking that Lord Matsumoto probably didn’t want to actually hunt anything but more like trying to have a relax outing with his men. Well, it did not matter. The trip allowed Aiba to get out of the castle for the first time. He and Nino were able to enjoy the domain’s countryside. That was good enough an excuse for Aiba.

Aiba was humming as he changed in the room before the bath section. The section seemed deserted. There was no sign of other people’s clothing left in the changing room so Aiba relaxed a bit more. He cleaned himself and prepared for the hot bath. The sound of his own voice singing filled the atmosphere and made Aiba relaxed even more. It had been quite some time that he had felt relieved and relaxed like this.

However, Aiba’s smile was short lived. It disappeared as soon as Aiba stepped into the hot spring and realized he wasn’t alone. Right there, already in the hot spring before him, was the young lord Matsumoto.

Aiba stood still not knowing what to do. He still feared being in proximity of Jun, especially alone like this. The young lord might show a slight friendliness toward him earlier, but it was so brief and short-lived. Aiba still remembered all the loathing looks Jun gave him throughout his time at the Matsumoto castle and felt unwelcomed in Jun’s presence.

“What’s wrong with you? Don’t you want to take a bath?” Jun’s questions forced Aiba to return to the present dilemma. Aiba walked slowly, in reluctant toward the hot spring. He lowered one leg into the hot spring and took one look at Jun. Aiba immediately decided this was a bad idea and he pulled himself up from the bath.

Immediately, a hand gripped firmly on Aiba’s wrist. Despite some distance between them earlier, Jun had closed in on Aiba very quickly and caught Aiba by the wrist. Aiba turned instantly and found Jun looking straight at him intently. A knot formed in the courtesan’s stomach as he felt something brewing inside that shiny bright eyes of the young lord.

“What’s wrong? Why are you walking away?” Jun asked with a very intense stare. Aiba couldn’t meet Jun’s eyes.

“Please, let me go, my Lord. I didn’t mean to bother you in your private bath.” The secluded hot spring section must be sectioned out for the lord’s private household – now Aiba realized that. That’s why no one else was here, despite many men in the other side of the hot spring.

“Why do you always act like you hate me? What’s wrong with me that make you don’t even want to look?” Jun’s questions caught Aiba by surprise. He immediately turned to look at Jun in the eyes.

“It’s not me. It’s you. The way you look at me.” Aiba suddenly realized how inappropriate it was for him to be complaining about this issue to Jun directly.

Aiba blushed. He tried pulling his arm from Jun as he wanted to get away as soon as possible. However, Jun gripped on to Aiba’s wrist so firmly that Aiba could not get away unless he became aggressive to resisting. He didn't want to do that, at least not to the man who had now pulled himself up from the pool and stood so close to him. Jun's body was still emitting warm breeze of hot spring and Aiba could not help but gulping at the masculine body in front of him. His mind was running frantically to places it shouldn't. Unable to control himself, Aiba turned his gaze away from Jun.

"Am I that disgusting? You wouldn't even look at me." Jun asked, ill-tempered. His grip on Aiba began to hurt. Aiba wanted to resist, he wanted to pull his arm away, but the strange breathing sound from Jun stop him from doing anything. After a long uncomfortable silence, Aiba turned to answer the young lord.

"No, my lord. I would never think of you that way." Aiba’s voice was shaky. Jun snorted.

“I told you to call me ‘Jun’. I told you I am not a lord.” Jun’s eyes shone brightly.

“I can’t. You are Lord Matsumoto’s son.” Aiba explained although his voice was still shaky, and his words lack confidence.

"How sweet of you! Is that how they train you to speak in the capital?" Jun smirked. “I may be my father’s son, but I am also my mother’s son.” Jun pulled Aiba closer until their body was right to each another. "Don’t sweet talk me like they taught you in the capital. I can see through your lies.”

Aiba sensed a genuine dislike and border line hatred coming from Jun. And somehow it all made sense. Aiba suddenly realized the implication of his existence at the Matsumoto castle. Nino had told him before about the change in the inner castle upon his arrival. That some former courtesans and the lord’s companions had lost the lord favor because the lord had become so obsessed with Aiba over the year. Aiba could only suspect that Jun’s mother was among them.

“Did I offend your mother? I am sorry, I didn’t intend to.” Aiba offered an apology and he meant every word. However, it didn’t comfort Jun. His look turned more intense and full of loathing.

“Sorry is not enough. You broke my mother’s heart.” With that, Jun pressed his body on Aiba’s. Aiba didn't dare moving so the two bodies were against one another. Water was dripping over Jun’s masculine body and Aiba couldn’t help glancing at the nicely toned muscle on Jun’s broad shoulder and full chest. Jun’s grip on his wrist tightened enough to cause slight pain on Aiba’s skin. “My lord, let me go. I am sorry I offended your mother, but it’s not my fault.”

“Of course, it’s not your fault. You courtesans were all the same. Nothing is ever your fault.” Jun gritted through his teeth. Aiba sensed a real resentment in Jun’s words. This young lord definitely had an issue with courtesans.

Then, Jun did something Aiba didn’t expect. He pulled Aiba in and kissed him so intensely. Their bodies collided. Aiba’s bared front touched Jun’s wet torso. Jun’s another arm wrapped around Aiba’s body and his hand scanned over Aiba’s skin. Jun’s kiss was fierce and full of emotions. Aiba tried to break away, knowing where this was going.

“My lord. Please, let me go. I won’t disturb you anymore.” The courtesan tried to plead. It did not have any effect. Jun controlled his wrist even tighter. “You never denied my father.” The young lord advanced closer and placed a kiss on the wet nape of frozen body. Aiba yelped and pulled away from Jun instantly. He cried out a protest and tried to step back from the lord but Jun wouldn't let him. Another pull and Aiba was so close to Jun's wet body again.

"Aren’t you my father’s property? Don’t you have a responsibility to serve my house? You are being paid hefty amount from the emperor to lure my father, aren’t you? Why don’t you do your job for the whole house?” Jun grunted.

The questions made Aiba stood silent. His body stopped protesting and he let go of all resistances. Aiba thought he began to understand why Jun looked at him the way he had done all these months. And if that’s what Jun truly believed, Aiba could understand the source of his hatred and anger. Aiba wouldn’t blame him.

Jun noticed the change. He pulled back and saw Aiba putting on a brave face.

"Of course, my lord. You can do anything to me however you’d like. If you think of me like that, I would not protest." Aiba answered affirmatively yet it sounded so heartbreaking.

Jun was shocked at Aiba’s reaction. He shook his head a few times, trying to dismiss Aiba’s demeaner as one of the courtesan’s trick. Yet, the way Aiba’s eyes glistered with sadness reflected with something in Jun’s heart. Jun tried planting another kiss on Aiba’s unresponsive lips, but he quickly pulled away. He turned, looking angry and unsatisfied, however deep inside he felt his heart beat strangely. Jun couldn’t do what he intended to in the first place anymore. He let go of Aiba and stepped back.

“You are the worst courtesan.” Jun muttered in displeased. He looked down on the floor instead of at Aiba because he didn’t want to see those sad eyes. Although many had warned him of the courtesan’s evil tricks, Jun wasn’t sure Aiba’s sadden eyes was one of them. Jun’s heart told him they were real.

Jun kept his face on the ground wishing Aiba would just walk away when a hand reached for his chin and pursed his face upward. He looked up and saw Aiba staring at him with an unreadable expression.

Then, slowly, Aiba moved forward. His lips planted on Jun and they kissed. A real, sincere kiss.

Jun let himself being absorbed into the moment. His brain still ran frantically on all the bad things he had heard about Aiba. Yet, his heart started to feel different.

When Aiba pulled away, Jun had to take a long, deep breath. Jun’s reaction made Aiba smiled, a beautiful, heartening smile. Jun didn’t think anyone could fake such a thing.

“If it could make up for any wrongdoing my existence ever caused you, I promise I would do anything in my power to make you happy, my lord.” Jun knew Aiba meant every word of it. He didn’t want to believe them, yet he couldn’t deny Aiba’s true intention.

“I told you to call me ‘Jun’” was the only thing Jun could do as a response.

-.-

Aiba’s back arched and his head jerked up high as the thrilling shock went through his whole body. Aiba gasped for breath. Inside him, Jun’s cock was crushing into his soft spot repeatedly. The joy and the elation were too overwhelming. Jun's pelvic crashed violently with his thigh as Jun thrusted hard and deep inside Aiba's tighten ass. Each push was forceful and determined, just like how Jun was, and Aiba screamed as his mind reaching the inexplicable euphoria. Aiba could not breathe. The sensation was too much. He cried out as Jun once again hit his vulnerable spot. Jun was breathing heavily trying to control the incredible satisfaction he's having. In front of him, Aiba's beautiful frame was rocking in sync with his own movement. Aiba was moaning, crying and screaming sensually and Jun's lips curled up in satisfaction.

Aiba's body language indicated that he was fully and thoroughly over the moon. All his senses were pushed to the top. Jun himself was enjoying the incredible pleasure as Aiba’s warmth tightened and reacted to the movement of his member. When his cock moved in and out of the courtesan, electric shock travelled through his entirety. This was more than any sexual experience he had had. So, was this why this courtesan was so special? Why everyone was so lustful over this guy? Jun secretly wondered.

Jun had claimed Aiba after the hunting trip and they had been together several more times. It couldn’t be denied that what Aiba had with Jun was different from what he did with the others at the Matsumoto castle. It seemed more meaningful and more intense, and Aiba’s body craved for Jun’s touch. Without knowing, Aiba slowly looked forward to the time he and Jun would spend together again.

One day, after they had slept together. Jun told Aiba he loved him.

“You know this is potentially troublesome, right?” Nino warned Aiba after Aiba confined in him what Jun had said. Nino looked troubled. In fact, he had looked troubled ever since Aiba started sleeping with Jun regularly.

“Why? Because Jun may be in love with me for real?”

“Yes,” Nino replied urgently. Aiba thought Nino was about to bring up Sho, but he was surprised. “You know that your relationship with Jun displeases his father, Lord Matsumoto, right?”

No, Aiba didn’t. He never thought of the lord of the castle when he thought of Jun. Aiba still attended to the lord’s every need like before. Lord Matsumoto still reacted to him positively and favorably like he always had been. There were no indications that the lord of the domain was dissatisfied with Aiba’s conduct.

“Of course, you wouldn’t notice it. Lord Matsumoto is crazy about you. He wouldn’t do anything to displease you.” Nino huffed out. “But you should be careful. The old man is dangerous. We all know of his reputation way back since out time at the capital. You know how cruel and ruthless he could be.”

-.-

Aiba brought the issue up with Jun but the later dismissed it in a heartbeat.

“Why are we talking about my father when we are together?” Jun teased as he showered Aiba with kisses. Aiba’s worry disappeared when Jun’s hand reached for his member and gave it a few strokes. Aiba moaned in pleasure. After a few more strokes, Aiba felt his body was ready for Jun. He bended down and invited Jun to claim him. Clutching onto Aiba’s hips, Jun’s hands pried open the slit of Aiba’s behind and Jun placed his cock right on Aiba’s entrance. Then, without a warning, Jun pushed his cock deep in one do. Aiba instantly cried from shocking surprised, but physically excited and aroused by Jun’s act. Aiba’s body responded in pleasure, and Jun took it as an invitation. He grinded inside Aiba even more intensely. Despite the slight pain, Aiba was fully aroused and was edging closer to his climax. Jun’s lower body crushed hard on Aiba’s frame, inserting more force into the thrusts. Aiba cried happily. The pounding behind him continued at higher speed and Aiba was no longer able to produce intelligibly sound. The sensation was overwhelmingly intense. Tears dropped down Aiba’s face while his mouth parted open. Jun’s hand reached for Aiba’s shoulder pulling him up, arching Aiba’s body in perfect angle. His other hand reached for Aiba’s mouth and Jun inserted his middle finger through the courtesan’s parted lips. Aiba took it almost too willingly. His tongue wrapped around Jun’s finger and he sucked on the limp eagerly while moaning in pleasure. Jun moved his hip in rhythm, his cock still remained inside Aiba but he slowed down the movement. The poundings were firm and constant, and Aiba moaned in satisfaction.

“Oh god, Jun.” Aiba said in a raspy, aroused voice. “Aaahh!!.” Aiba let out another satisfied cry that caused Jun to smirk happily. Jun’s arm wrapped across Aiba’s chest pulling his back on Jun’s bare chest. Jun’s face was right behind Aiba’s nape and the young lord whispered “I love you, Aiba. I love you more than anything.” With Aiba’s body firmly in his embrace, Jun thrusted his hip strongly into Aiba’s ass. His cock went even deeper and Jun could feel Aiba’s muscle contract from the intensity. Aiba’s mouth parted open and Jun thrusted again, this time the push was so hard Aiba’s whole body heaped up from the force. Aiba didn’t let out a sound but his widened eyes and gasping mouth suggested he had been pushed to the edge. Aiba was losing himself. Jun pressed Aiba onto his frame and thrusted his cock inside the courtesan fiercely once again. This time his member went deeper than any time before. Aiba’s thigh spread further as Jun’s crouch hitting on it strongly. That only allowed Jun to push in deeper, crushing Aiba’s soft spot so intensely. The shocking and immense sensations destroyed every senses in Aiba’s body. He gasped excruciatingly. His head plopped backward and fell on Jun’s shoulder. His limps were hanging loosely. Jun’s passionate sex had pushed Aiba beyond his limit and he had lost all the control. Tear streamed down the side of his eyes while saliva dripped from his mouth.

Jun didn’t stop. He continued to thrust into Aiba’s frame repeatedly. The body in Jun’s arm was thrown along with his force but there were no more audible sounds from Aiba. Aiba had been pushed over the edge and had lost all his senses. There was only Jun’s increasingly louder groans as he was reaching his climax. Jun’s hard thrusts delivered immense pleasure to the man on the receiving end. At the same time, it made Jun incredibly aroused and thoroughly satisfied. What he had with Aiba was different from what Jun ever experienced and he knew Aiba felt the same as well. What they had was special for both of them.

Jun kept pounding until finally he came blissfully. He yelled aloud, while releasing warm liquid inside his partner. After his ecstatic cries died down, Jun could now hear Aiba’s small whimpers. The courtesan had released himself before Jun and now his cum stained a large area of the floor.

“That was incredible. You are incredible.” Jun said into Aiba’s ear. He lowered Aiba on the floor and pulled his piece out before collapsing right next to Aiba. They laid breathing heavily, side by side, when Jun suddenly realized someone was watching. He instantly turned to one side of the room where they had their backs on for the whole time.

And there it was, his father, Lord Matsumoto, standing with an unexpressive face, staring at both of them.

Aiba was now alerted of the entrance of the lord of the castle and he turned swiftly to bow to Lord Matsumoto. Aiba finally realized Lord Matsumoto might have been watching him and Jun. And even though Lord Matsumoto had enjoyed watching Aiba with the others, somehow Aiba felt this time was different.

-.-

Nino wasn’t happy when he heard about it from Aiba.

“This is not good.” Nino muttered. “I fear it won’t be good for you.” Nino’s voice was of real concerns.

“I don’t know, Nino. It was the first time I actually felt fear creeping down my spine. The way he looked at me. It wasn’t the same.” Aiba admitted.

“I think you shouldn’t be here anymore. It will become dangerous for you.” Nino confined. He had been contemplating the idea for quite some time, since Jun and Aiba had been together more often than Nino thought they should.

“I can’t leave. There are still a few months before I can return to the capital.” Aiba thought of the emperor’s order. His exile to the Matsumoto domain would end in the coming Spring a couple months’ time.

“I think we need to make an exception. At least, Sho should know about this. Maybe he can help getting you out. Or we can ask prince Satoshi, he would care about your safety.” Nino suggested.

“But we cannot get the words out. My correspondence will be screened.”

“Not if I carry it to the capital myself.” Nino offered. He wouldn’t want to leave Aiba along, but he was certain Lord Matsumoto wouldn’t harm Aiba outright, not while Aiba still had his imperial courtesan position. An offense to Aiba would be an insult to the emperor. Yet, Nino still felt troubled thinking about leaving Aiba alone.

“It’s OK. We don’t have any choice. I will take care of myself, don’t worry.” Aiba tried to reassure Nino. He had to put on a brave face. In the worst case, what would befall him was purely Aiba’s own doing, and he didn’t want Nino to be in the middle of it. Sending Nino away was the best option Aiba could think of under the circumstance.

Nino hugged Aiba so tight and asked him to promise to stay safe. Then, he dashed out of the room.

-.-

Nino had been gone for only a few days when Aiba was informed of another hunting trip that Jun was asked to participate. Aiba felt suspicious. No one should go hunting this time of year. It was in winter and animals were hard to come by. Yet, Lord Matsumoto insisted for another hunting trip to the north.

Aiba wasn’t asked to join in at first, and that caused an alarm to him more than anything. He feared the lord might do something to his own son to retaliate on what he possibly had seen as a threat and an insult. Aiba tried to warn Jun about possible danger, but Jun dismissed it again, claiming that it was only a trivial incident and Aiba shouldn’t be worried about it.

Yet, Aiba still felt unease, so he asked Lord Matsumoto if he could join the hunt. The lord looked at him strangely. Aiba had to insist again before he was allowed to accompany the hunting trip.

He didn’t know what good he would do going on the trip. Aiba only knew that he couldn’t bare the thought of staying in the castle and let everything unfolded.

They spent more time travelling up north, partly because land was covered in thick snow, partly because the destination was further away than before. The weather was terrible. It was so cold Aiba could barely talk. By the time they reached the destination, it was almost dark and everyone was exhausted.

Luckily for this trip, they weren’t sleeping in tents like last time. Given the poor weather, staying in a house was a much better option. They ended up staying in a small village and Aiba was put up in a room in the cottage that Lord Matsumoto was staying.

Without Nino to help him out on his daily regimen, Aiba decided to rest right after dinner. His eyes felt heavy from tiredness and his body felt like limps. Aiba turned himself in for a long sleep as soon as he made it back to the cottage.

And in Aiba’s sleep, he heard screaming and someone calling his name.

Aiba woke up to a strong smell of fire. He sprang from his bed and realized the whole cottage was on fire. He immediately ran for the exit.

And to his horror, Aiba found his door was barred from the outside.

Aiba screamed. He tried pushing and hitting the door several times but to no effect. The door was still close. The fire burnt more intensely and thick, black smoke began to fill the room. Aiba cried for help but he knew no one would be there to help him.

Then, Aiba heard a commotion outside. He could hear faint sounds of people fighting. Someone was calling his name.

Jun was calling his name.

Aiba shouted through the door, hoping his voice would reach Jun. The fighting outside continued and Aiba’s heart beat so fast. Suddenly, Aiba realized the fight outside was one against many. Aiba immediately shouted for Jun to stop. He didn’t want Jun to risk his life for him. It wasn’t worth it.

Then, there was absolute silence.

Aiba dropped on the floor, fearing for the worst. The fire intensified. It probably would engulf the whole place, Aiba included, in a few minutes. Aiba closed his eyes, thinking of Nino and how fortunate it was that Nino wasn’t here. He thought of Sho and the night he would never experience with him ever again. And he thought of Jun and his tear rolled down.

Then, the door was kicked open. Aiba immediately looked up to the man that came to rescue him. It was Jun, with his sword still in hand, and blood everywhere.

Aiba immediately reached to cover his mouth in trying to stop his cry. He should have anticipated this. Yet, seeing Jun all covered in blood made Aiba’s heart dropped. He dashed forward and helped supported Jun’s body. Sticky liquids covered Aiba’s face and arms, yet Aiba’s only concern was at the man in his arm.

“I killed them. I killed the guards surrounding the house.” Jun said weakly. Aiba knew what Jun meant. Lord Matsumoto must have set a fire to the cottage and positioned his men outside to prevent Aiba from escaping. Jun must have intervened.

“Why? I am not worth it.” Aiba sobbed into Jun’s limping body. He felt Jun’s breathing had slowed down and each one was weaker than the one before.

Jun didn’t reply. Instead, he smiled briefly, closed his eyes, and continued,

“You should go. Take my horse, she’s faster. My father would hunt you down, but you may make it to the border in time.” Jun coughed as he tried to direct Aiba to safety. But Aiba thought Jun was just being overly optimistic.  There was no way he could escape. Aiba didn’t know the area and he wasn’t prepared to travel in this frigid weather. Yet, Jun still encouraged him to leave.

The house is burning intensely and pieces started to fall down. Aiba knew he had mere minute before the whole place crumbling down. He didn’t move. Instead he lowered down and planted a kiss on Jun’s lips. It surprised Jun and the dying man opened his eyes.

“Why are you still here?” Jun asked in almost a whisper. His eyes were glossy and his breathing was very weak. Aiba dropped on the floor next to Jun and pulled him in for a hug.

“It’s OK. There’s nowhere else I would rather be.” Aiba whispered to Jun’s ear comfortingly. He hugged Jun until he could no longer felt any movement from the other man.

Then, Aiba closed his eyes and embraced what was to come.

- Epilogue -

Sho was too late – several days too late. He heard about the fire as he crossed the border with Nino. He knew the fire was deliberated and that Aiba was killed by Lord Matsumoto. When he heard the news, he vowed that there would be a retaliation. They went back to the capital and brought imperial troop to investigate the incident.

The truth came out and Lord Matsumoto was punished severely. Justice was served.

But justice didn’t do any of them good. Sho had lost his love and Nino had lost his best friend. Nino went to the site of the fire and tried to collect as much as he could to give Aiba a proper burial. He was certain the bones and ashes he collected were from both Aiba and Jun and he would give them a proper burial together, like Aiba would have liked.

Sho still visited Aiba’s and Jun’s grave regularly. He might not fully comprehend nor understand how Aiba felt about him and Jun, and what’s the difference between them. Yet Sho knew he loved Aiba and Aiba loved him.

And that was enough for Sho.